What love is and what love does

Homily for October 4, 2015 (27th Sunday in Ordinary Time)
Genesis 2:18-24; Psalm 128; Hebrews 2:9-11; Mark 10:2-16

During the course of a press conference on his flight back to Rome following his visit to the USA, Pope Francis was asked about the upcoming Synod on the Family and the issue of admitting to communion people who are divorced and have not had their marriages annulled.   The Pope didn’t seem anxious to answer the question.  He knows that while it’s a matter of pastoral importance it’s also controversial and will likely be the subject of significant discussion at the Synod.

Almost all of the bishops, including the Bishop of Rome, want to uphold the traditional teaching that marriage is a sacrament—a lifetime and indissoluble covenant between a man and a woman that expresses their love and strengthens the foundations of society and the Church through family life and the education of children.  Yet they also know that many marriages these days are under pressure, some are broken, and people are suffering because of it.  In addition, families take many shapes and sizes, some that we couldn’t have imagined a generation or two ago.

Yet as our gospel reading today reminds us, these are not entirely new challenges.  Divorce was a reality in the time of Jesus; and it was religiously sanctioned in the Law of Moses.  Yet when Jesus was confronted with the question of whether it was “lawful for a man to divorce his wife”—an act that, in the culture and society of the time, often left women especially vulnerable to poverty and exploitation—he took what seems to be a pretty hard line.  First he told the Pharisees that Moses only permitted it as a concession to human weakness and sinfulness—the hardness of our hearts.  Then he “doubled down” and added that those who divorced and remarried committed adultery!  Quoting Genesis, he added that “what God has joined together, no human being must separate.”

It’s not surprising, then, that when we celebrate the Rite of Marriage, the priest or deacon utters those very words after the couple, the true ministers of this sacrament, exchange their vows.  Likewise, it shouldn’t be surprising that there is such a demand for annulments.  Jesus sets the bar very high!  But that begs several questions:   What do we do when a marriage is not “what God has joined together?”  How do we help a couple who, despite their best intentions and efforts, haven’t been able to make their marriages work?  How do we minister to couples/families that experience divorce or are non-traditional?  How do we keep them connected with the family of faith?

The reality of divorce certainly raises a variety of issues.  But there are others that are no less important.  For example, how can the Church better promote the Sacrament of Marriage and support couples and families?  As Pope Francis reminded the press on the plane, it is odd that it takes roughly 8 years of full-time study and formation to be ordained a priest, but we expect people to be prepared for a lifetime of ministry as spouses and parents with just a handful of classes!

Something is wrong there, and it needs attention.  One of the ways that we can address it is suggested in our psalm:  to pray for couples and families, especially those who are struggling and hurting.  Another is to heed the call of the author of Hebrews and cultivate in our hearts the compassion that is rooted in God’s love for us and is at the heart of the mystery of the incarnation.  Jesus came among us to show us what love is and what love does.

St. Francis of Assisi, whom we remember on October 4, received his call from the crucifix at San Damiano that urged him:  “Francis, rebuild my church, which is falling into ruin.”  Rebuilding the Church and society begins by helping families and strengthening the sacrament of marriage, remembering what Jesus taught his disciples, listening and learning from the experiences of families—what’s really going on in their lives and homes.  It’s a task that none of us can ignore. +