Spiritual Reflection
Capuchin friar Timon's personal stroke recovery
By Timon Costello, Capuchin
"I am writing a Journal telling of the events of my stroke.
I have received several reactions concerning my Journal. One was from someone who were so numbed to his profession that he simply wrote me to say, "It happened. Your friends know it. Now just handle it privately. Quit writing about it." That was from a nurse.
Others in the profession have appreciated my Journal because it aids their work. Many do not know what is going on "inside" the patient.
This is what I have learned since suffering my stroke.
1) A stroke is like a semi truck hitting awall. Everything stops. I could not walk, I lost my memory. Double vision made me dizzy for 6 months. I would cry from 9:00 am until 11:00 am. But that took its course and stopped
2) Effects of the stroke are not always final. I am walking and can use a stationary bike to pedal 1 mile. My memory is back, and I need about three more months to see if my double vision will goes away.
3) The most surprising part was the exhaustion from something as simple as saying the "Our Father"at Mass. I would be so tired afterward that I had to sleep for an hour.
4) I attended a Wake service and had to sleep for 13 hours. Caregivers appreciate knowing these things because a stroke not only has the specific physical effects, but also near exhaustion.
5) Those who are caring for stroke patients may not realize the internal struggle that is often "too exhausting even to talk about."
6) The privacy of my room is ideal. I can sleep without having to explain why. The staff knows and they can then care for those who are more needy than me.
7) At times I decide to exert myself. Often it is a disaster. I tested going to a cottage. I was not tired while there but the "social” interchange exhausted me.
8) I tested my abilities and attended a Name day celebration across town. I had to sleep all afternoon.
My stroke was on September 15, 2008 and it may take until December for it to settle out."